Day 3

Today was hard. I sometimes forgot how hard change can be. How easy it is to fall back into the routines we break out of sometimes we don't even realize we are doing it. I keep telling myself I want change I want change I don't want to be the person I was. But the first time something doesn't go the way I think it should or something is said that I don't like I feel myself retreating behind those walls I had so painfully built. How can I  expect God to change my heart if I am not willing for change. How can I say I am someones friend that I love them no matter and yet get angry because they don't have the depth of feelings that I do. Thats like being angry at the sun for not shining. I can't punish or be angry they did nothing wrong and yet here am I ready to change our friendship because I'm hurt. God show me how to be a stronger person a more compassionate friend. Help me to be more humble. That person did not deserve the anger I felt he did nothing wrong but be honest with me and I know that was hard for him. He is going through so much and here I am making it worse instead of being a better friend by just being there for him. God guide me to be a better example to be the kind of friend I would want to have. To not just listen but to hear with both my ears and heart. Help me to not build walls between me and my friends and to show me that its ok to let people in that its not always better to be alone and not be hurt then to be hurt but have a fulfilling life full of friends and loved ones. That not everyone leaves that people don't always walk away